Notice the separation. I tried and tried to find a piece of writing that combines the two topics: Catholic advice on becoming a step-parent. The closest I came was a question on our marraige prep test that asked how we each feel about caring for other children. That's it.
So, I returned to psychology and other writings. Secular writings are well-meaning, and Christian writings are better although they don't approach the depths of this beautifully Catholic understanding of marraige. Troubles are often treated in terris tones--well done, and completely truthful, but you'd think that the goal of every situation is "to make this step-family successful" until the kids are grown. I say the goal is much deeper and longer-lasting: the goal is to get us all, lovingly, to heaven.
So here I am! I know love, hope, and frustration. I know the rosary and a few things about guilt and responsibility! If there are any other Catholic stepmoms and stepkids feeling bereft of Catholic advice, you and your insights are welcome.